Basic Steps *
Describe the situation that triggered negative emotions. What was said or done to bring about angry, frustrated or resentful feelings?
What were my thoughts and feelings?
Begin with thoughts; then list the feelings associated with each thought. See worksheet, "When I Am Disturbed."
Where did I feel threatened?:
Did I perceive this as an attack on my self esteem or self image? Was it a threat to my financial security? Did I feel thwarted or frustrated in accomplishing my ambitions (professional, social, sexual, etc.)
What was my part?
What did I do, if anything, to set in motion the train of circumstances which caused people to hurt me and which led to my resentment of them for doing so? For example, did my expectations of others or beliefs about them set me up for my feelings of anger or resentment? Did I do anything in the past that might have provoked the ill treatment I received?
What were your ego concerns?
Where was my ego being:
Which of the above ego concerns has caused me to hold on to negative emotions (anger, resentment, discouragement, etc.), even though I may have done nothing to bring about the disturbance? Remember, we are prosecuting the ego, not defending it.
Are you ready to pray?
Spend a few moments in quiet prayer, asking to be freed from ego concerns so that you might see clearly the circumstances of your current situation.
Are you ready to make amends?
Having been freed of ego concerns, are you ready to make amends with others--either direcly (verbal amends) or indirectly (by simply treating them differently? If so, what is your plan?
Having done this work you can now go forth as an instrument of God's love and wisdom--happy, joyous and free of ego concerns.
* Based on the program Happy, Joyous, and Free of Ego Concerns by Peter Rhodes and Ray Silverman